Jun 1, 2010

The Last Living Slut - Roxan Shirazi

By Bob Suehs

www.rocknrollexperience.com

THE LAST LIVING SLUT: Born In Iran, Bred Backstage

A book written by: Roxana Shirazi

Rock N Roll concerts are all about the music, the energy, the sound, the lights, & there's just a certain "vibe" you get when you go to see your favorite band play; playing a record is NOTHING compared to seeing your favorite artist rip through a live rendition of a song you love, or atleast that's always been my personal opinion. There's always elements that you don't quite notice sometimes, unless you look closely or you work on the inside...what I mean is, there's always the darker side to things & I'm not talking about drugs, drinking, substance abuse, or anything along those lines...what I'm talking about is the people who wanna leach off a celebrity, the one's who have no real self purpose in their own lives, so they leach onto people who have achieved goals in their lives & they try to steal a piece of said person's fame/achievement/success. The ugly word I am referring to is "Groupie" & there's really a few different kinds o' groupies in this world.

The first kind of groupie is the person who is an avid fan, the person who buys every release, buys every t-shirt, buys every magazine, sees every concert...in all honesty, unless the fascination gets too obsessive, this kinda behavior is really nothing that bad; however, the 2nd type of groupie is a less than respectable bunch who's only reason for existing is to utilize a celebrity for sex. In a simpleton's eyes you might think, "Oh, so f**kin' what, so there are stupid women who wanna f**k someone because they are famous...it happens!" & you know what, that's a valid point, BUT, when someone makes their whole existence based on who they've slept with & goes even further by trying to make a buck off it by writing a tell all book....well, in my eyes, that's the lowest of the low....you see, I don't think the celebrities that use groupies are any better than the groupies who offer up free sex just because they are famous, BUT, if the groupie girls were not there doing anything & everything they could to get the band boys attention, then guess what...there would be NO groupie scene, things would actually be alot cleaner, & in a nutshell, I blame the groupies for letting it happen. This all leads me to my review of the new book, "The Last Slut..." by Roxana Shirazi.

Roxana is a native of Iran, she was born & grew up there, & I'll set up this review with a brief story of how I encountered Roxana just before this review was written. I got my advance review copy of this book & as soon as I started to skim over it, I decided to post a few teasers as to some of her stories in this book...it was a teaser to promote the book & this review. What ended up happening was, Roxana reads posts on Metal Sludge, where the bulletin was posted...I had sent her a message via her Myspace account & we exchanged messages for a few minutes...she informed me that she felt like I was saying bad things about her & I had misunderstood her book; her book was about how she over came bad things that happened to her growing up, she had some abuse, some molestation & she felt like being a groupie helped her fit in, that she had reformed her life, had some college degree & she felt like writing this book proved she was a real writer now...WRONG Miss Groupie girl!

Let me explain my point here before I start delving into the meat of this book; This book starts off with a story of how she wanted to have a 3 way with Nikki Sixx & Tommy Lee....Tommy allows her to enter his dressing room & she proceeds to jerk off for Tommy but Nikki had no parts of it, then a year later she has dinner with Nikki Sixx & when she asks Nikki about sex drugs & rock n roll, Nikki tells her that truth, that it's all an image & she got upset when Nikki talked to her about his life, family & even his interest in growing a garden....she was upset that Nikki was a business man & NOT a stupid rock star....that's the first stupid misconception of rock n roll....rock n roll IS a job, it IS a business....sure, guys in the band will party while they tour, BUT, what they do, when they are onstage, that IS their job...when the tour ends, those people go home to their families, their wives, their girlfriends, kids, etc., etc., & what a groupie usually goes home to/with when a concert or tour ends is either:

A. A house full of cats

B. A hand full o' memories

C. A few diseases

How can you really expect ANYONE to respect you & take you seriously when you tell a story about how you had a 3-way with Tracii Guns & his current bass player, Jeremy Guns...the story was that Tracii took the back, Jeremy took the front & their balls were slapping together in the middle because they were f**king her so hard! Is that really a story you need to tell the world? I'm sure Mommy is oh-so-proud to read that one!

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After that brief Motley Crue story, there's an opening by the author as well as Neil Strauss, but to be blunt with you, her "life" story is very whatever....when I was messaging Roxana she told me point blank that she was upset that the ONLY thing I found interesting in her book was all her groupie stories & the truth of the matter is that Roxana's story is nothing special...EVERYONE has a story if I'm being honest with you...the only thing that makes her book interesting is her crazy sex with D-list Rock stars.

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The core of this book is that she got pregnant with Guns N Roses keyboardist Dizzy Reed's baby & she had an abortion. She blamed Dizzy for her getting the abortion because she claimed she wanted the kid but got rid of it in order to make Dizzy happy...as it's later revealed in the book, Dizzy already has 4 kids & he excommunicated the groupie because he lost interest in her when he walked in on her backstage in Sebastian Bach's dressing room...what happened was, she wanted to have sex with Sebastian Bach, but what Bach wanted to do was use a vibrator on her while all his band members & crew watched, so Axl Rose & Dizzy saw her getting the vibrator treatment from Sebastian Bach & Dizzy lost interest in her. She stalks Dizzy though & in an attempt to get back at him she decides to go to Los Angeles & have sex with all of his band members in his band Hookers N Blow...she has an affair with Troy Patrick Farrell, but Troy pawns her off to Scott Griffin & eventually Dizzy gets wind of it all, he kicks Griffin out of his band & threatens Troy & others about touching that girl & Griffin winds up playing bass in LA Guns, but through that entire ordeal, groupie girl falls in love with Scott Griffin & Scott can't stay faithful at all...there's a comical story how she goes to kiss Scott one night & smells his breath & goes, "I can smell another woman's p**sy on your breath!" & the relationship, if you want to call it that, ended when she had a friend tempt Scott with a one night stand, Scott accepted & she was heartbroken...again! She also detailed how upon meeting AXL Rose, she got Mr. Rose to autograph her "intimate" area & she was planning on getting it the autograph tattooed but Dizzy went down on her that night & rubbed the autograph off in the process!

There's a great story about how she had sex with ALL 5 members of Buckcherry 2 days after she had an abortion....she claims that Keith Nelson has a pierced penis & he's so big that he hurt her...apparently she started to bleed really bad because 2 days after an abortion you SHOULD NOT have sex, but she did & things got so messy & bloody that Keith couldn't finish up so she had to finish him off orally. Then she went on to have sex with the rest of the band & she later went back to a hotel room to have more sex with 3 of the guys.

This isn't the only Buckcherry sexcapade either...she visited the band months later & did all 5 of them in the back of their bus...Keith was first & as she described it, he had a beer in his hand as he came back to take her from the front & Josh Todd was the last in line & he did her from behind!

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There's another story where she has sex with Matt Sorum when Matt was on tour with Velvet Revolver & she tells how her friend scored Matt coke because he needed a drug fix, she tells how Matt did one armed push ups & declared, "Not bad for a 46 year old man!" in order to impress them, & the gross out factor kicks in when she admits that she was on her period this particular day, she told Matt this & Matt said he didn't care if she didn't....he stuck his finger in her special area & his hands came out reddish orange & she goes on to explain that Matt went down on her & when he came up he looked like a savage eating raw meat because his face was covered in blood & "stuff".

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She declared she had sex with the band Aiden, there's a story of how Matt from Bullet for My Valentine turned her down..basically, Matt's girlfriend was on tour with the band & she got wind that groupie girl was messin' with Matt & groupie girl nearly got beat up that night!

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Even though he's no longer with us, there's a story about The Rev from Avenged Sevenfold as well....basically, she asked Synister Gates to give her a golden shower...he performed the act, then she went to have sex with The Rev with M. Shadows & Synister watched...once Synister walked in the room The Rev could no longer maintain an erection & he tried & tried to f**k groupie girl & what ended up happening was that The Rev had foam coming from his mouth & had some sorta episode from all the drugs he'd taken...she describes her encounter with Avenged Sevenfold as boring other than being pee'd on!

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There's a story about how she was asked to help Steven Adler pee, so she had to pull his pants down, hold his man-hood & even shake him dry when he was done peeing, then put it back in his pants..this was because Steven had a beer in one hand & a joint in the other & didn't want to put either down! She also details how she gave Steven a B.J. & when Steven had sex he demanded that Family Guy cartoons be played!

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She tried to have sex with Eric Stacey from Faster Pussycat & Brent Muscat...she had Brent's pants off & before she could shove his hard d**k in her Brett, the bands drummer cock blocked her & told her both Eric & Brent were married men & he wasn't allowing it! She details sex with Joe Leste from Bang Tango, she stated that Jizzy Pearl came off too scary & rough for her, & at the end of this book you are left really not liking this woman who wrote this book...how can you respect someone who did all these sick acts, then goes & writes a book about it all? She's trying to destroy people's lives based on her lack of a life!

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What is her big regrets in the book? She was upset that she didn't get to f**k Slash & she said it was because his fat trailor park looking wife was there & she also regrets not f**king Scott Weiland, but she assumed he was gay & the reason she blew him off was because she didn't have her contacts in one night & had no idea he was inviting her over. In a nutshell, that's the jist of this book...I've kinda laid out all the details...she even had sex with Chip Znuff & she explained how he went down on her almost immediatley. I can tell you from briefly chatting with Tracii Guns, guitarist from LA Guns, Tracii is not too happy with her telling the story of him & Jeremy double teaming her...this book talks about of trash & I just don't see what the purpose of this book was, other than a fast buck...Roxana thinks that she is a legit writer now & this book only proves that she's a star struck, star F**king groupie....it was an entertaining read none the less.